I am back!!! I took a (long) break from my blog but I am here today to reconnect with yous! More than ever! =>You will know what I mean in next few days! Today I was scrolling down my blog and my attention was caught by the post I wrote about Subdrawings. Have a look here if you haven’t read yet 😉 https://connectwithnadin.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/subdrawings/ I had completely forgotten about its content. After that post the mechanic asked me if a friend of mine and I could shoot some photos and a video for his new business. That way I could pay off my scooter. That’s a great opportunuity, I thought. So we started organising and producing the shooting. It was about the end of December when he pulled out and told us that the money that we were asking on top of the scooter was too much. Bugger! Ok. So I started looking for another scooter (to stay truthful to my Subrawing 🙂 ). But after a quick research on line I noticed that the prices were higher than fixing my old scooter 🙁 So another month passed by. I didn’t have all the money so I asked the mechanic to wait until I had the money before starting working on the engine. I received another phone call from the mechanic. He wanted some photos for the website. Ok, I said, but I want my scooter fixed then ahaha. On the day of the photo shooting I had to wait a couple of hours before the scooters were ready to go. I had a look around to all the motorbikes that the mechanic was fixing. I was particularly intrigued by the motor-scooters with bigger wheels. I still had a part of myself that wanted to go with something different. So I asked the mechanic about the convenience of having a scooter with bigger wheels over one with small wheels. He said that was more or less the same. I indulged in the idea of having one of those. Literally after five minutes one of the scooter riders was chatting with his friend. I approached them and heard something about a scooter. I asked him what scooter. He told me that was selling a scooter with big wheels, with less kms than mine and for $500!!! I couldn’t believe it! That was the scooter that I wanted!! I bought it on the spot! That afternoon he came and dropped it at my house. But really, it wasn’t until today that I realised that my Subdrawing was right. It took more than three months for it to become reality, but at the end it was right: I got another scooter! Motto: Follow your intuition guys!!
I have just started my amazing 1oo day project on instagram this week. And I have just started planning my 90 day plan for my business. I noticed that when I push a little bit more and produce more, I tend to loose the connection with myself. It happened to me whenever I had an exhibition. It was really fun and challenging but at the same time I would loosen the connection with myself. The intuitive part. And during the first part of this week I felt that the same was happening. So I had to slow down a bit . And to remember why I was going towards my goal. Why I want to be a full time artist. And the answer is that I want to do what I love , what I am passionate about. And how Ralph Smart says (check out his instagram account at https://www.instagram.com/infinitewaters/) “Where passion goes, money flows!”. And look at the law of attraction too. You are going towards what you feel not what you think. So if I feel stressed and confused that is the direction that I will take. I decided so to slow it down and take weekends off and 1 week of holiday at the end of the year. This is self love. This is connecting with myself. This is connecting with the why. And the reason why I am doing my 100 day project is that I want to connect with people. I want to open myself up to the world and connect with people that resonate with my work and my message. And I want to connect with myself through my work. But if my work is disconnecting me from myself then it’s not working properly. And it’s a fine balance, really, between the connection with yourself and the commitment in what you do and the passion you put in the projects. Too much work and you loose the connection. Too much connection with yourself and you may not do enough work to reach your goal. It’s a balance! So take a deep breath, connect with your body, connect with your vibration. There lies the exact tune, the perfect vibration that you need! Do and act according to that vibration, to that feeling. You already know what you need. It’s inside yourself. Have a great day folks!!
I think that I found a way to tight up the mind and the belly: it’s the 528hz frequency. Music made according to this frequency puts you in this amazing state of mind. It’s proven by science to be the frequency of nature (chlorophyll, green, water,…). It is the frequency of miracle and love. Expose yourself to this frequency and you’ll just sink inside. The heart chakra is stimulated. As I am writing now my hands are going slowly. But it doesn’t bother me, as it would normally. It just seems natural. It is nature. It is the rhythm of nature. Wow! Take a listen to this meditation music made following the 528 Hz frequency: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNpzjSLtwu8 And listen to the podcast that explains in details how the frequency works, the science that backs it up and the history behind it and the reasons why all the main religions, that already knew about the frequency, didn’t want the people to know about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUiSMPHRrhc
The 100 days of Mind & Belly project is born!!! What is it? It is a way for me to connect my mind (awareness) with my belly (my subconscious). At the same time the images created through this project will be shared here on my blog and on social media for the next 100 days in order to connect with others’ Mind & Belly!
Today I had this assignment for my self: Where I am at with The Project? And how the blog fit into it? What affirmation can I create for my blog? I went through my journal and it has been quite a journey! I started with the what: I wanted to do an art installation. I knew that it was about connections, strings,etc.. Then I went into sculptural project about nest. But I found myself in a place that didn’t like. So I went back to the why and the original concept of Connection. Then I went into quantum physics, entanglement,etc.. That brought me to the idea of internal connection, within yourself. And an external connection with nature. So I came out with the metaphor of the tree. We are like it, in the sense that we have roots deep down into ourself (subconscious) thanks to whom we get lymph. The lymph goes through the trunk (awareness) and then become leaves and flowers and fruits (artistic expression or expression in general). So I am at the point in which I am looking for a balance between the external world and the internal one. More in specific: how do I stay connected with myself? How can I connect with people from the belly (subconscious way, not rational)? So the blog comes in as a journal of this amazing adventure. My blog documents my Subdrawings, that is my daily connections with “the belly”. And documents also my “rational” speculations about my discoveries during my research. So an affirmation for my blog could be: I write about the belly and the mind.
I started reading Eckhart Tolle’s book A new Earth, awakening to your life’s purpose. It’s incredible how many concepts are resonating with my own practice and work. Or maybe not. It’s not a coincidence if I am awaking now and many other people are. As the author says it is the right time. It’s a time where there are no more rigid religious institutions (at least in the West) that have the monopoly over spirituality. We are starting to discover our own heaven. And that was Jesus’ original message: heaven is inside yourself. Change your self and you will live in a new earth (=the reality out there). But what struck me the most was the introduction. He talked about flowers. They were the first thing in human history to not have a practical purpose. They were just beautiful. They were a window to our own beauty, to the formless. We as plants, can blossom and get to the “enlightenment”. The connection with my work is incredible. Eckhart even used the same metaphor!! In my words: when we align our roots (subconscious/formless) to our trunk (desires/thoughts) we blossom beautiful flowers (our presence in the reality/expression). Amazing! The author goes on explaining how we, humans, have a dysfunction. We always knew that. The Buddha called it dukkha, suffering, Jesus called it sin (its original meaning, “missing the target”, has been distorted by the translations), etc,… Fears and hatred and all the negativity come from the same place. Tolle believes that this place is the ego. This book is about “awakening” from being unconscious of our identification with the ego since we were babies. This realisation will automatically make us conscious of the ego and finally abandon it.
I went to the city today for Mike Parr’s exhibition at Anna Swartz gallery in Flinders Lane. Those paintings were expressing such an amazing power and strength. They came from a place inside, I could feel it. They were the expression of the source of the artist. I could give an interpretation that was my own. But all the titles were distant from my view. I guess Parr (and everyone really) would see different things in his paintings. But his paintings really stroke a chord. They really resonated with me and my practice. I could see my own Subdrawings there. And they made me think in how many different ways I could express my subconscious. I could express so much with colours, enamels, acrylic paint, etc… So much to play and create. I would go in that state of “trance” that I have when I do my Subdrawings. What if I push that feeling? What if I indulge in that feeling? Asking a question, but maybe even without asking the question before painting. What is the feeling that I would have? Food for thoughts and for practice 😉 Then I went to the Melbourne Museum. After the incident with the Aboriginal man, I promised myself to go deeper and do more researches into their culture. The exhibition First People is amazing. I didn’t have much time but my attention was caught by a video projected on a big screen. A series of Aboriginal people was talking about key words related to their culture such as family, identity, country, nature and…..connection! It’s incredible how some of their key terms are so fond to me and such a big part of my project. I feel that I am on the track that I am meant to be. A journey that is connecting me to my nature and the nature of an amazing culture. Their culture is so respectful of nature, both outer and inner nature. I feel that I have much to learn from Aborigines.
Today I am not gonna tell a dream. Today I am talking about something that happened to me few hours ago. I wish that it was a dream, but it is not. I was walking down on Smith Street, Collingwood, Australia, Earth, Universe. An Aboriginal man stopped me asking me something. I already knew that it was about money, but I decided not to judge, and listen to him. He needed money to pay for his bed tonight. 15 dollars. I gave him $1.70. He looked at me with a disappointed face and asked “Can you give me more?”. I said masking my discomfort “I’m sorry I can’t, but I guess that it’s a good start towards your 15 dollars goal”. He looked and me and angrily mumbled something. I decided to keep listening to him. I asked him if he wasn’t happy with the money I gave him and he told me that he wanted the whole 15 dollars from me. So I decided to sit down on the bench with him and to honestly try to help him. I always thought that the money doesn’t help them. I wanted to do more. So I was thinking a way where maybe I could pay him something to work with me or another way in which he could sustain him self. As soon as I sat down with him he move farther on the bench and then stood up. He looked and me and said firmly: “If you don’t go away I will kick your head!”. I was rather shocked. I tried honestly to connect with him and he was abusing me verbally for doing that. I couldn’t work out why he was doing that. I said to him “I am trying to help you”. He repeated again, this time yelling “Go away or I will kick your head!”. I couldn’t believe it. Despite the threat I wasn’t afraid. And neither was I angry. I felt sad that he reached that point in his life. I imagined his journey and how he got there. While I was walking away he yelled “Go away, you and your God will not help me!”. Maybe he thought I was going to convert him? And maybe he had so many hard experiences of white Australians trying to convert him. I don’t know. I was calm but at the same time I could hear my voice shaking a bit. I passed by a group of Aboriginal men and women and one of the women yelled at me “You don’t speak like that to my brother, you c..t!”. Wow, they perceived me as the enemy, the white enemy that tried to “corrupt” a member of the group with my “Christian” persuasion. I felt so sad. I fell powerless. I couldn’t connect. I decided not to ignore him and the result was the opposite of what I was expecting. I feel sad about it but at the same time I think that everything that happens to us is a stimulus to improve and evolve. I have been thinking lately to connect with aboriginal communities for my project. Being it about inner and outer nature, it is unavoidable to relate to the aboriginal culture and traditions. This episode in reality gave me more motivation of connecting with them even more. I don’t believe that all the aboriginal are like the guy that I met today. I believe that I came across to him as a sign that I need to go deeper. He metaphorically “kicked my head” and shook me from ignoring their culture. It’s time to connect!!
I had a strange dream tonight. I had a massive pimple on my back. I was afraid of touching it. Then I took the courage and extract it. It was disgusting when was inside but after taking it off it was like a soft ball and I felt a big relief and was really excited. Then somehow I made a lot of money out of it. I noticed that I had a tattoo on that part of the body. Where the pimple was I could see the skin indented. Possible interpretation: the pimple was my art. For long time I was afraid of looking at it (= the pimple is on my back). In my dream I was gonna ask someone to extract it for me, but then I decided to do it myself. I was really satisfied of doing it. Relieved. Feelings that I had when I did my first steps into my art. Suddenly I could see and touch my art (=pimple as a soft little ball in my hand) and not be afraid. Then in the dream I sell the ball and make money. That would be the part when I will be selling my artworks!!! Tattoo: only after the extraction I can see the tattoo. It could be the liberation from the block. The extraction liberated all the creativity and imagination in my self + the tattoo is on my skin, on my self. I am the art itself, it is a part of myself.
It’s a technique that I developed at the end of last year. The first drawing is dated 27th November 2014. I was inspired by Enrique Enriquez, an artist from New York, featured in the documentary Tarology. He reads tarots and every kind of sign really, in an intuitive way. That made me wonder if I could read my own “signs”. Signs made by my own hand when I draw without consciously thinking of what I am drawing. That way I can tap into my subconscious. They say that we use around 10% of our brain. My drawings are made by the rest 90% of my brain 🙂 I then interpret my own drawings, this time using an analytical approach. I want to go a bit deeper with this blog. I want to document the process and the feeling. I want to understand if I can tap into my depth with or without the drawings. I have been using Subdrawings when I had doubts about practical things. I want to know my subconscious believes about the matters. This drawing is an example. I always start with a question and keep that in mind while I am drawing. Here the doubt is about my scooter. I had to bring it to the mechanic because it wouldn’t start. Bad news: the damage is worth about $800!! So the question is simple: “How do I feel towards my scooter?”. I would usually ask a more specific question but this time I decided to try a more generic one. This is the drawing: I believe that anyone would see different things. That’s because, unless it’s a clear and recognasable image or sign, we all have different experiences in life and different nuronal connections. So the following is what I see. My interpretation: on the left hand side a bird looking figure. It seems almost at an embryonal stage, it’s body looks like a larva or caterpillar. It has a helmet with the number 46 written on it. I recognise my self in the caterpillar-bird. I am usually in all my drawings. I recognise my self thanks to hints. This time is the helmet (I ride a scooter) and the number 46 (my favourite motobike rider is Valentino Rossi and his number is 46). On the right hand side I see my scooter. It is in a vertical position, like on a wheely. I am holding onto it with my right wing. But at the same time I see my self handing my scooter out. I am wearing the helmet of one of the fastest man on a motorbike in the world. I feel ready to change. The scooter served me well, but it’s time to change (from caterpillar to butterfly). In my left hand side I have a sort of crab claw. Am I ready to grab my new motobike? What was my feeling when I was drawing and interpreting? While I am drawing I am not thinking of anything. I only see the aesthetic of the lines, I am in the present. I am not thinking what I am going to draw. I am not in the past because I am not interpreting what I already drew. I am whatching the line being drawn and that’s all really. The only thing I think of is the question, but it sits on the background. When I feel that the drawing is finished I put it on a stand. I feel that I have to put some distance between me and the drawing. It is time to be more rational and use the 10% of my brain 🙂 But it’s very important the feeling that I have when I feel that the drawing is complete. How do I know if the drawing is finished? I feel a sense of completion. It’s hard to describe, but afterall it’s the same feeling that you have when you are doing something and then suddednly you realise that is enough. You’ll know it. While interpreting, intuition is important too. So I keep an open mind because I am trying to spot as many recognisable signs as I can. They can be obvious (the bird and the scooter) or harder to detect (the claw). Then when I have all the signs in place I try to understand the meaning of it. Remember this is not reading the future. This is a process to understand what your subconscious “thinks” about a certain matter. At this point a doubt could arise: there are at least two valid interpretations of this drawing. One is that I am holding onto the scooter. The other is that I am handing it over. One basically means “don’t let it go” and the second “it’s time to change”. So they contraddict each other. How do I know what to choose? Again this drawing has been made by your hand and your mind. You know what is the real interpration. You already know but somethimes you don’t want to accept the anwer. I know it’s hard to let my scooter go and spend money on a new or second hand motobike, but I know that that is the message. The look on the bird is not a happy one (it looks like shocked). And I was shocked. But I know that it’s time to let it go.